What are people thinking??

Last night, after VBS, Emilia and I went to Target to try and find a new sundress for me to wear to Alyssa's wedding...it did not go well. In case I forget to mention, I didn't find anything that looked decent (darn post-baby body!!)

So, I had 9 dresses that I wanted to try on. I can only take 6 into the room with me, so I leave 3 with the dressing room attendant. Let's call her, Betty. After dress #4, Emilia starts getting fussy (she was fighting sleep...always fun!) So, I'm still in dress #4, I take Emilia out of her carseat to try and rock her to sleep. While doing so, I grab the first 3 dresses that brought attention to the areas I'd like to hide to change out for the last 3 with Betty.

I walk out there, Emilia spits out her pacifier and starts fussing some more. Betty starts cooing about how cute she is (which, she is, so I'll give her that!) Then she starts fluffing all over Emilia's head and touching her little feet. I'm trying to back away slowly before she reaches to hold her hand (I don't know what diseases this lady might be carrying!) (I'd also like to point out how annoyed I got by this stranger rubbing my baby's head...I have a hard enough time keeping it from looking oily without your help!!) Well, Betty doesn't take the hint...Emilia's getting louder as I walk back towards my dressing room...Betty follows me INTO MY DRESSING ROOM saying 'Oh here, let me hold her. I'll calm her down" (WHAT???) I just say "That's alright" as politely as I can. Betty says, "Oh OK. She just wants her Mommy. Is it a boy or a girl? Oh a girl, I see all the pink." All this time I'm slowly shutting the door to my room and she's just BARELY out of the way. She KEEPS talking to me once I shut it telling my how cute she is.

Now, I'm really not good at telling people no about stuff like that, but this lady really got to me! I'm sure she was just trying to be nice, friendly and helpful. But, did she really expect me to just hand over my 3 month old baby without batting an eye?? I guess maybe there are people out there that are more open to free-love-everyone-let's-hug-and-be-friends-I'll-hold-your-baby-while-you-try-on-dresses...but it's not me! I want to hold my own baby, please go away.

Ugh, I just worked myself up all over again.

Thank you Lord, for baby smiles!

This morning on our way to daycare, I looked back and caught Emilia playing with some toys we have hanging from her carseat handle. As I peeked in on her playtime, I watched her smile and I realized how her smiles can make everything better! She has just started to smile when she plays with things and it was so fun to watch!

I love how she smiles when I wake her up in the morning. She closes her eyes so tightly when I first turn on her light, but as soon as she hears me say "Good Morning Emilia", her whole face lights up because she knows her Momma's voice. Those mornings when I wish I was still in bed, that smile brightens my face and I'm ready for the day!

I love how she smiles and coos at her mobile. She loves to lay and watch the funny colored animals go around in circles above her head. The orange animal is her favorite. She smiles at him the most. (O:

I love how she smiles in anticipation of tickles and kisses. This is pretty new too. Jason loves to give her lots of kisses on her cheeks. He will start out far away and zoom in to steal all the kisses. Just recently, she's started smiling and talking as he's moving back and zooming in, like she knows they are coming and she's excited. It's the same smile she gives when we kiss her cute little feet. (Shocking that I'm kissing yet, I know!)

I love the smile she gets when you first start peeling off her clothes for a diaper change or bathtime. This girl loves to be naked! She just kicks and talks and smiles. Then, after a diaper change, I'll stand her up and she gets a big open-mouthed smile and starts cooing and talking to me. I love it!

Oh, and I, of course, love the smile she has after filling up her diaper or passing gas! I have an extra funny memory in my head after last night- Jason had undressed her for bathtime and was holding her over the sink, giving her lots of kisses. She loves to "sit" on his chest: bottom on his chest with her legs and feet going up towards his neck. Well, last night she started smiling and Jason felt his chest getting warmer...he starts laughing because she is peeing on him! Then, it takes a smelly turn- she pooped on him too!! She's just smiling at him and he's laughing and telling me to help! I run and get the wipes, hold Emilia while he peels his shirt off and wipes her off. All the while, she's grinning so big. At least she felt better! (O:

So, thank you Lord, for blessing my life with such an unbelievable gift. I never knew someone so small could lift my spirits just by being her happy, little self.

"And a good time was had by all..."

WHEW! What a whirlwind of a weekend! I had a great time, but I'm definitely worn out!

Friday night was Alyssa's bachelorette party at The Melting Pot. Yummy!! Mary and Erin met me at my house so we could all ride together. We had a lot of good discussion on the way there and had a so much fun eating yummy chocolate! It was Mary's first time there (!!) and she was a blast! That girl needs to get out more, she was cracking me up! It was a great night of friends, linerie and chocolate! (O: I got home around midnight- Jason and Emilia both already in bed. (O:

Saturday morning, we got up around 7:00 and started getting ready to leave for Dexter, MO for the Warren Family reunion. We had decided that we would just take our time with this trip, no rushing or trying to be on a schedule. It was really great. We didn't leave until around 9:00 a.m. We stopped at Sikeston because Emilia was getting hungry and I wanted to stop at the Carter's outlet store. They were having a great sale- 70% most items! The 5 packs of onesies that I love were only $7.40- down from $15-20!! And the 2 pack of pants were down from $10-12 to $5.20!! Woo hoo!! I loaded up on 3 and 6 month pants for my long legged child and got a couple packs of onesies too. She also needed more sleep 'n' plays since she's already too long for her 0-3 month ones we just bought a few weeks ago...haha. I found a long sleeved white sweater to keep in the diaper bag this summer in case it's ever chilly for Emilia. I've been looking for something to keep with us because it never fails that I dress her lightly thinking it's going to be hot and then it rains or gets cold...so my $5 sweater was a deal! Jason also grabbed a cute shorts and tank top outfit, an adorable blue dress with white fish (probably to be worn to Alyssa/Jay's wedding) and an orange onesie with a giraffe that says "I love long hugs" down the back of its neck! We ended up blowing more money than intended, but that's alright- most of it was actually things we needed. And the prices were great! (Even Walmart/Target prices couldn't compete)

Then, we kept on our way to the reunion...got there at 1:00 and everyone was done eating. We fixed our plates and sat down with the family. Jason's Grandpa Oshall was there, but only long enough to hold Emilia, hug us and then he was ready to go home. He's looking a little better, he's just so weak and wears out quickly. The reunion wasn't anything great, but it was nice to see everyone. I spent a while talking to Jason's cousin James' fiance, Jenna. (Did you follow that?!) She is so sweet! They are getting married next month, so we talked about her wedding (which is always fun!) And they are actually moving into a town house in Collinsville, not even 10 minutes from our house! We said we'll definitely have to get together for dinner and stuff. They are a few years younger than us, but I hope we all still have a fun time. They are getting married in a Lutheran church in Springfield (where she's from), so I don't know if they are planning on attending a Lutheran church in our area...I will probably at least invite them to join us at Cornerstone.

Anyway, that night we stayed with Mark's cousin, Karen. Their house is so wonderful! We stayed in a room that was off the garage- a workout/tanning bed room with a king size bed on the floor. The bed was ah-maz-ing!! Jason and I need a king size bed- we didn't even touch all night! We aren't 'cuddly sleepers', so it was awesome! Jason got bit by something while we were there and it's starting to swell on his leg...weird.

On our way home Sunday, we stopped to eat at Lambert's. My first time! It was fun! I really like the atmosphere of that place. They really throw the rolls! The guy threw one at a little boy (more like gently tossed, under handed so he could catch it) and the little boy then threw it at his mother! It was so cute. The food isn't really anything special, but it was good. Nothing like good home cookin'. (O: Oh, and they bring your drinks in these huge travel mugs! I mean, like 32 ounce jugs! I obviously enjoyed myself and I'm excited to go back. (O:

We took our time driving home too, and it was great. We stopped at some bargain shoe store and spent over an hour looking through rows of shoes and sun glasses. And! Woo hoo! I found a pair of sandals that I've been wanting for years! Take a look...(O:

We decided to stay home from church Sunday night to rest and I'm glad we did! It's now Tuesday (took me a while to get this all typed out...) and I'm still tired! But, it was a great weekend, filled with friends, family and lots of fun!

Victory, Thy Name is 'New Shirt for Alyssa's Wedding"!

Woot woot! I *FINALLY* found a shirt that will work for Alyssa's wedding (and all other weddings I have to attend this summer)! This was my delimma- I didn't want to purchase a new dress to wear because it would prove to be problematic with feeding Emilia. So, I opted for a pair of nice black capri pants and set out to find a cute top to go with them...what an ordeal! I thought I found a couple a few weeks back, but Jason didn't like one of them and the other wasn't quite dressy enough. I kept it for when I coordinate weddings, but wanted something cuter for weddings I was attending as a guest.

So last night I skipped out early from VBS because Grammy had Emilia. I figured it was the perfect time to squeeze in a little shopping- it's always easier without my 11 pound princess. I went to JC Penney's on Jaime's recommendation and she was right- there were plenty of cute tops to choose from! At first I had some trouble, nothing was fitting quite right (stupid extra preggo belly still hanging around....) But then, it happened!

I had grabbed this dress that has black, blues and greens in a pretty swirly/big flower print design (it's cuter than I described, I promise). I thought that if it fit well, I could have my mom crop it into a top. It is great! I'm really excited, even Jason liked it! And the colors will coordinate with his suit! Yes yes, I know we're dorks. But, we like our outfits to at least be in the same color family. (O:

Now I just have to ask my mom to fix up the top and hope she can do it before the 27th!

Unlikely Pair

Last night, after VBS, I met Jason over at his parents' house. Aunt Mimi and Uncle Justin, Grammy, Poppy and Jason were all having dinner with some other family friends. Daddy tried holding Emilia for a while, but she was cranky and fighting sleep. So, Grammy said 'I think she wants me to hold her'. She gave it her best shot, to no avail. Grammy handed her off to me and she calmed down right away. (There's still something so sweet about her just wanting her Mommy, I love it!)

A little later, Uncle Justin wanted to hold her to say goodbye because they are leaving for California today. Everyone said 'She's going to cry...' Surprisingly, she didn't cry at all. In fact, she started kicking off his chest and cooing at him. He played with her for probably 20 minutes like that! It was so fun to watch. She was having a great time and so was he.

The reason this is rather 'unlikely' is because Justin doesn't typically hold her for any amount of time and usually just wants to say hi and hand her off to Aunt Mimi. He hasn't ever really played with her. But, not last night! They played and played. He tried to give Aunt Mimi a turn, but Emilia just kept staring at Justin and even started whining until he took her back.

It was really fun to see him interacting with her. He was making silly faces and talking in a funny voice- and she was eating it up! Probably the best part was when Poppy wanted to get some goodbye hugs right before we were leaving and Emilia started to cry again. Here comes Uncle, 'do you need me to take her back?" with a big goofy grin on his face. He was so proud that he was the 'chosen one' of the evening. (O:

What a Day!

Whew, I'm glad to have survived yesterday! (Somewhat literally...)

I took yesterday off because Emilia had a doctor's appointment in the morning and I had one in the afternoon. We got to sleep in a little bit which is good because we spent the rest of the day running around!

We started with Emilia's 2 month check up. She's doing great- 23 1/4 inches long and 10 pounds 15 ounces. That puts her in the 90th percentile for height, 75th for weight and head. (I still haven't quite figured out what that means, but whatever. She's healthy and growing!) She did so well with the doctor- just smiling and cooing the whole time. It was adorable. I was asking the doctor if I should be concerned that she's only pooping maybe once a day. I was relieved to find out that with breastmilk-fed babies, there could be as few as 1-2 a week, so she is fine. But, right after I got done saying that she doesn't have dirty diapers often at all, she let one rip and filled that diaper to the max! Then she just smiled like "Ahhh, much better!" I had to change her diaper mid-check up, it was hilarious.

Next was the not-so-good part...the shots... I have been preparing myself for this part because I wanted to be able to remain calm for her. I didn't want her to sense my fear or stress and, in turn, get upset too. So, I did great- just holding her in my arms, keeping her leg in place and looking right into her eyes. She was looking at me without a care in the world and then...instant pain and horror all over her little face. I could see in her eyes that she didn't know why this was happening to her. I immediately started to tear up. (I've always been that way, Jason reminded me- one thing that will always make me cry is seeing someone in pain, and it was even worse because it was my helpless baby girl.) She had to get 2 shots in one leg and then we had to fliip her over for another one in the other leg. The nurse said we were done and told me I could take my time. So I just brought Emilia up to my chest and rocked her and tried to calm her down. It took a few minutes before her cries were only wimpers. The rest of the day she spent mostly sleeping and crying. I held her most of the day trying to comfort her and let her know she was safe. (Ugh, I'm fighting back tears just thinking about it.)

Is there anything worse than watching my sweet, innocent daughter crying out in pain? I think not. Even though I hated having to watch her in pain, it was also comforting to me that she just wanted to be close to me to calm down.

Well, after that awful ordeal, it was off to Wendy's for a quick lunch. I ate in my van (treated myself to an ice cream for getting through the shots- my mom always gave us ice cream after shots growing up). Then, I fed Emilia in the back seat of the van before my doctor's appointment. I'm getting pretty darn good at feeding her in my van. The windows are tinted, but I always use my cover. That's one of the nice things about breastfeeding- I can do it anytime, anywhere. (I try to use the van as much as possible while out, I don't want to sit in the mall and do it...)

My doctor's appointment went fine- I was just getting some tests done to make sure I can get an IUD and I can! Woo hoo! Best part is I don't have to pay a dime!

After a few hours of cuddles at home, it was time to head up to church for VBS...another dramatic tale!

I was picking Jaxon up from daycare because Jaime was working until 6 and would be coming straight to church. No sooner had I carted Emilia and Jaxon back out to the van from daycare than the rains came down. I actually had to shut myself in the van to buckle Jax in because it was getting so bad. Everytime Jax heard thunder he would say "Annie! What's that!?" I stayed calm and told him it was thunder. He didn't seem to be liking the storm, so I told him "Jax, you know all the pretty flowers outside?" He said "Yeah..." I said, "Sometimes it has to rain like this so those flowers can grow so pretty". "Oh..." I don't know if he really understood what I was trying to explain, but that was the least scary thing I could think of to tell him. So, I just kept saying it's just raining so the flowers can grow.

Once we were loaded up, I started driving towards the church...and the rain came down even harder. I pulled up under the little awning at church and luckily Carol saw me waving frantically for some help. She grabbed an umbrella and ran out to take Jax from me. Then, once handing him off to Holly, she tried to come around to the other side and help with Emilia. The winds were so bad, the umbrella broke and Carol literally couldn't make it to us. She ran back inside and I ran in with Emilia (luckily I had packed an extra blanket to put over her carseat...she stayed dry and didn't even wake up!) Next I grabbed up both diaper bags, our McDonald's dinner and my purse. I threw them inside the building and went to park the van. As I tried to run in from the parking lot, the winds were beating down my back faster than I could keep up. With my slick flip flops, I barely kept from falling. As I reached the church, a woman pulled up asking if she and her 4 month old daughter could come in until the storm was over. I helped her with her bags and we all made it in safely. I was soaked for the rest of the night, but so very thankful for Carol and Holly's help and that God had kept us safe. Josh later pointed out that our church is a pretty safe place to be during a storm- it's all made out of steel and concrete!

VBS went off without a hitch. I think attendance was down because people probably thought it was cancelled. Emilia did fine in child care (I checked on her like 100 times!) and as far as I know, we didn't lose any children.

So, needless to say- I'm worn out today! Hopefully the next 3 days of VBS will be less eventful than yesterday...I don't know if I can keep up!

Check this out!

A blogger friend of Jaime's is having a giveaway of some really great handmade items!

This woman's name is Lori and I can tell just from what little I've read on her blog that she has a heart of gold. Their family has 2 teenage sons and a little girl already. Now they are adopting a teenage girl! This giveaway is so fun, but it's also helping to raise the funds they need to bring Shu Li home.

Please check it out here!

Day 2 went better...

I have made it all the way to 3:17 p.m. without crying and without being too sad...

This morning went much better. When we got there, I took Emilia out of her car seat and hugged/kissed her for a minute while talking with Renata. She told me that Emilia smiles all the time! I told Jaime and Jason that I took that as a good sign for 2 reasons: 1. They are paying attention to her and 2. She is happy. (I know they are paying attention to her and taking good care of her, but it's still nice to have some reassurance).

The other thing we (Jaime and I) have been worried about is how well Jaxon will handle seeing me there. Since Jax and I are such good buddies, we were worried that he might freak out when I leave and don't take him with me. Jaime and I have both apologized to Renata in advance in case it ever happens. But, today went great! Jax was already there, watching TV with all the other kiddos. When he saw me walking down the stairs he excitedly yelled 'Annie!' I said "Hi Buddy!" and all the other kids said hi with him. I walked into the baby area and set down Emilia in her car seat. Jax ran over, gave me a hug, took off his shoe and showed it to me. I gave him a hug and a kiss, said I love you and then told him he needed to go sit back down. He did without arguing or raising a fuss. Such a big boy! Then, after handing Emilia off to Renata and giving final instructions, I started walking up the stairs. Jax said "Bye Annie!" and then all the other kids said "Bye Annie/Andy" (some didn't quite get it right!) It was really sweet. (O:

I've been a little more productive today than yesterday and haven't even had to scroll through all my pictures. I have looked at a few that are on my phone, but it's an improvement from yesterday. The way I look at it is, she has to go somewhere. I can't afford to stay home with her, so this has to happen. Plus, I think daycare kids learn socialization skills so much quicker. They learn to make friends, be kind, share, etc. I also really like that Renata's daycare is teaching them, not just plopping them in front of the TV all day. The older kids are learning the alphabet and even have homework! I think that is great! These kiddos are going to be well prepared for preschool/kindergarten (if their parents keep up with this stuff at home, of course).

Right now, I'm just waiting until 5:00 when I get to leave work and pick up my baby girl! We have a fun bridal shower/personal shower/summer party tonight with all my favorite girlfriends (even though some will be missing). I thought about getting E changed into a fun dress for the occassion, but it's much more practical to have her in PJ's so if she falls asleep on the way home, she's already ready already. (O: (Yes I know what I just typed.) I still haven't decided if I'll share her tonight or if I'll keep all the snuggles for myself...but I'll probably share her. You're welcome Jaime! (O:

No longer dead inside

Well, it's official. Emilia has changed my life in a way I never knew possible! Ever since she was born I've been a weepy mess. Yes, me. Annie- the one who never cries, the one who was dead inside and had no heart. I'm officially a cry baby.

Today was Emilia's first day at daycare and it wasn't easy. I cried the first day I left her at my mom's house too, but this one was worse. I'm using the same in-home daycare that Jaime takes Jax to and I know Emilia is in good hands. I know I can trust them to take good care of her, but it's just not the same as her staying with Grandma.

I made it almost all the way into my van before breaking into tears today though. Jaime got there with Jax about the same time I got there, so we walked out together. Jaime was talking to me a little and I couldn't do anything by one word responses...I tried to get a whole sentence out and could feel my voice start to quiver and the lump start rising in my throat. So, I cut myself off and darted for my van. I managed to squeak out a "Have a good day" to my friend, but that's all I could muster.

I have spent a large part of my day today either flipping through the pictures of my sweet baby girl I have on my camera and daydreaming about how she's doing. I also keep reliving my exit today. While I was giving all the instructions to Renata, Emilia started to whine in her carseat. I told Renata and her assistant (can't remember her name...) that she just hates her carseat. The assistant said something about her probably needing a diaper change and had the other assistant get her out and take her to change her diaper. I'm not overly concerned, but I'm fairly positive she didn't need a diaper change seeing as I had changed her right before we left. And the 1st assistant didn't even really check her before saying that's what it was. But, like I said, I'm not really too concerned over it- I'd rather it be that than them leaving her in a stinky one for hours! But, the part I keep reliving is I had to walk into the changing area to sneak a hug and a kiss before Assistant #2 started changing her. It was really sad because I'm used to extra hugs and kisses before handing her off. I could linger at mom's if I wanted to and here I feel like I'm supposed to just set her down and go. That will take some getting used to...*sigh*

I would also like to say that I really love Renata today. She called me around 9:30 just to let me know she was back from her errands and Emilia was having a great morning. I really appreciated her calling me, I need that.

Oh, I've also learned today that I deal with my emotions by shopping...there's lots of good stuff on ebay today. (haha...)

Only 2 hours until Jason's picking her up from daycare. Then we do it all over again tomorrow. It's going to be hard to let anyone hold her at small group, I know I'll just want to cuddle her all night!