I just had a discussion with a coworker (K) about another coworker (R), and I'm just so saddened now. (Yes, this was a little bit of gossip, but once you read it, you'll agree how sad this is...) I just can't imagine this being my life...
A woman who works with me (R) had a baby only a couple weeks after I had Emilia. But she doesn't seem to care about her little girl (I'll call her "O") as much or the same ways Jason and I care about E. When "O" was only a week old, she was already being dropped off at Grandma's house for hours at a time or even ALL DAY. This was something I decided to say "To each his own" about because I was trying not to judge...but it only gets worse.
She doesn't seem to care about spending any time with O. She told my K that she just has to have a clean house, so she doesn't spend much time with the baby. K tried explaining that this time flies by so quickly and not to miss it. K used to come home every night and sit with her kids and play. We are much alike, that we aren't as concerned about a perfectly clean house, but that we enjoy the time with our babies. O's mom just stared at K like "lalala, oh well". K compared her to a computer- void of emotions about it.
Can you imagine not caring about spending time with your precious little baby? R's baby is perfectly healthy and so beautiful and she doesn't even seem to feel blessed or thankful about it. I thank God daily for what a huge blessing Emilia is to me and to our family. I look forward to her smiles when I pick her up from day care and I love that she smiles first thing in the morning when she hears my voice. I can't wait to take her home and play with her and hear her laugh. How can anyone not look forward to these precious times? How can you look at your beautiful, healthy daughter as nothing more than an accessory?
It breaks my heart that poor little O will probably never have a close, loving relationship with her Momma. She won't grow up knowing how much she's loved. She won't have fond memories of her childhood to look back on. I can still tell you stories about doing things with my parents as a kid, and O will probably never have that. It breaks my heart that there are so many people (many of my close friends included) that would KILL for a precious little baby to call their own and this mom is more concerned with a clean house and shipping baby to grandma's than she is cultivating a relationship or watching her grow and learn everyday.
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2 comments:
i'm not really saddened... i more angered. it is my FIRM belief that a person should choose to have a child only if you are capable and willing to love on the child, nurture that child and make the child a priority over yourself. people who choose not shouldn't decide to have children. there are preventative measures that can be taken... if you aren't sure about it, take those measures. if you find your self pregnant and arent' doing well with it, or have the child and find it soemthing less important than your clean house, there are alternatives.
i know the joy that i get from jax, and it kills me that someone is too selfish to give of themselves to their child. ARGH. i could go on and on and on even more than i already have, but i won't.... but ARGH!!!!!! as someone that can't grow babies, it really ticks me off when people don't appreciate their blessings.
this is upsetting.
It sounds like she wasn't quite ready for motherhood---but you know what? When you find out that you're pregnant, you should be getting yourself ready pretty darn fast.
I always hated that about people that I worked with at the salon and at the mall---they never seemed to want to be with their kids, and they would leave their children with their parents to go out and party all the time. LAME.
Half the time I wouldn't even know that people had kids...and then they would turn out having 2 or 3!
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