I am having a lot of “This is the last time…” moments this week as our final week before The Move continues. Some of them are repetitive and not really that important, such as “This is my LAST MONDAY/TUESDAY/ETC. of work”, “This is my last week of wearing scrubs”, “this is my last week of setting my alarm clock for 4:45a.m. each day!” (That last one is pretty stinkin’ exciting!!)
But last night was a "Last" that I don't think I had fully prepared myself for. Last night was my last night with my small group. I have known it was coming, and for some reason, I didn't think it would be hard or sad. Maybe I can been subconciously telling myself that since I'm only 1.5 hours away that we will all stay in touch and be as close as ever. But, the reality it that the dynamics of each of these friendships is about to change dramatically. That is what hit me last night. I will no longer be able to look forward to Tuesdays for running, girl talk and Bible study.
Even when I hate the thought of running, there was something almost exciting about getting together with my girls to encourage each other as we ran....that is no more. And, I always thought it made us "hard core" that we went straight from running to small group. 8 smelly, sweaty women sharing couches and oversized chairs to dive into God's word. Lucky for me, I don't smell well at all...but the rest of them- Serious Business.
We made it pretty much through the night without anyone mentioning too much about it being my last night. That is, until prayer time. I didn't say a word because I knew I would cry...but as my friend Katie prayed our closing prayer, she thanked God for me and prayed for our safe travels, etc. At that moment, it all hit me. As Erin leaned her head on my shoulder, I lost it. I have spent the last 5(ish) years of my life with these girls. They are as much my sisters as my real sister and my heart is broken over leaving them.
On the way home, I started running through each one of their faces and thought about what each lady meant to me. I love how God puts certain people in our lives for exact reasons, and I really love when I realize what those reasons are. Each of my dear friends means so many things to me, and they all are unique and special. I can't go into much detail right now because I'm at work, and Jaime has already made me cry once today while at my desk...but, let me just say that if you are reading this- you are one of the most important people in my life and I thanked God for you last night. I will miss you more than I can say, and I am so thankful for everything each of you has taught me in our time as friends.
Love.
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5 comments:
You're a jerk, too. I'm crying at work, too. I love you, too.
I have tears streaming. Lucky for me, no one can see them but Levi. Love you friend. You are right. It certainly will change, but I am praying that you will find wonderful friends at your new home that will add new blessings to your life.
i know i'm not one of the small group gals, but i started crying reading both your and Jaime's post:O(
it will be hard but you know that you have life long bonds here that won't disappear, even though they will be different.
it's okay to grieve for the changes:O)
One good thing to remember for all of us is that your family is here. That means that this will always be the place you come back to. So we will be able to see you often. It won't ever be the same, but different in a good way that is best for everyone as it always is when you follow God's direction.
I am glad I didn't read either of these at work because I am crying right now! I love you annie and will definitely miss you. You have influenced my life in greater ways than you know. Road trips are definitely in the future :)
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