M 'n' M's and Hymnals

This week has been a rough one, to say the least. I have had not only one dear friend pass away, but two. They both lived long, wonderful lives and have touched so many people through their witness for Christ over the years. I usually don't handle my emotions in a healthy way- I tend to hold everything in, pretending to be strong, and eventually break down over something unrelated and insignificant. I want to try and grieve for my losses in a way that's healthy and in a way that brings the glory to God, because I know that's what Dolores and Oshall would have wanted.


My first friend's name is Dolores. She passed away Sunday night after being ill for some time. I've already blogged about her a little bit, so some of this might be a repeat...I have so many fond memories of this wonderful woman. She was one of the friendliest ladies I've ever known. She would always welcome anyone into her home with a smile and a hug, no matter how long or short of time it had been since you'd last seen her. She loved to laugh. She had all sorts of silly cards, plaques or pictures of cartoons or jokes that made her laugh. Something else I (can't believe) forgot about was the M 'n' M's! Dolores always had a bag of those mini packs of M 'n' M's with her. She handed them out to kids and adults and anyone she could get to take them. I remember when I was younger and went through a phase where I didn't like them, she would carry mini bags of skittles to give me. Last night I attended her visitation, and right next to her casket was a small table with her camera and a big basket of M 'n' M's! I couldn't think of anything more fitting. One of her family members made sure I didn't leave without a bag, and I took them. In my mind, I could see Dolores pushing those M 'n' M's in my hand until I took them. (O: It will be sad without her, but I'm thankful she's no longer in pain. She's with her love, Frank, and they are whole again, praising our Lord!

The other friend I lost this week was Jason's grandpa Oshall. I call him my friend because that's exactly what he was. Of course, he was my grandpa (in-law) also and we were very close for only having known each other a few short years. Oshall has been sick for about the past 6 months and we all knew this was coming. He has had hospice care for 3 weeks now and so it's almost a relief that he has passed. I hate saying it that way, but it's true. Oshall has been praying everyday for several weeks that God would bring him home...and now his prayers have been answered and he's dancing on the streets of gold! I will truly miss my dear friend. We have always had a special bond. For as long as I can remember, he has told me every time he sees me, 'I've loved you since the first time I met you' and I so look forward to hearing him say that. The last time we went down to visit, when we knew his time was running out, he told me that again. I smiled and told me the same. It's hard to imagine only knowing someone for a few years and having such an empty space left after they are gone. He was such a stong man of God. He spent his last days witnessing to everyone that came to visit. And signing. Oshall loves to sing- hymns. Before meeting Oshall, I knew maybe 3 hymns well enough to sing along, but now that number has grown. He's right that there's beauty in those old hymns and I will always remember those times of singing fondly.

I love you Dolores and I love you Oshall. You will be deeply missed.

As I sit here at work, trying to hold it together, I keep thinking that neither of these wonderful people would want any of us to be sad- for any reason, least of all because of them. I know they would want me to remember that they are no longer in pain, no longer suffering in their worldly bodies. Today they stand before our God whole again, in the only place they have ever wanted to be. I know they have to be hugging the feet of our Lord, thanking and praising the one who has called them home. AMEN!